I’d be down for some zebra sac…– Tim Nissen.
Needs to get a life and stop reading Timothy McSweeney to everyone. Not really. I enjoy Timothy McSweeney. But it would not hurt Tim Nissen to get a life.
Knowledge you definitely want to know.
1)The enabling of the Genius Playlist business on iTunes is one of the greatest things to ever happen to mankind. 2) Armadillos can walk under water. 3) Here are the bands I’ve seen live*: Manhattan Transfer, TobyMac, Hawk Nelson, Skillet, Mercy Me, Barlow Girls, Sanctus Real, Tenth Avenue North, Vota, Jack’s Mannequin, Matt Nathanson, Erin McCarley, As Tall As Lions (twice), Mute...
I laugh like an old man.
There's always a bright side.
Okay, I am almost positive I got a negative score on my oceanography test. Bright sides: it’s finished. It’s raining. I see Daniel Tosh tonight fo free. I am going back to sleep. I see my family in one day. I can stop stressing out about studying for at least a month. And God is pretty awesome. So, there’s that.
The new "That's What She Said!"
“Because Tim sucks in bed.” or… “Because I wasn’t with Tim last night.” Examples: “Get your hands off of that, and let me do it myself!” “….Because Tim sucks in bed.” and “I had no idea that would last so long!” “…because you weren’t with Tim last night.” I hope you get the gist of it.
Funny things in my life.
Tim just spent 7 1/2 minutes looking for his pipe. It was on the table where he’d looked a million times. Funny thing is…I put it there after he walked out of the room. Bahahaha, I hope he doesn’t read this.
Tim: I want to clarify and say that Lil' Wayne and I have a weird relationship
Aubry: Did he molest you as a child?
Tim: Actually, we were both children, so we technically just had consensual sex.
Aubry: Well, there's nothing you can really do about that. I mean, what do you do with little children having sex?
Tim: I really want to say video tape them, but...
*Peals of laughter, Tim's wit celebrated by all*
Charles Spears. That is all.
Via aubsome. Pardon my r’tardation. And hilarity. We are awesome.
Ode to Aubry Midkiff
Such short, brown, beautiful hair frames the even more beautiful face of Aubry Rachelle Midkiff, who may or may not want everyone to know her middle name. Blue eyes sparkle and shine like newly Windexed windows and brilliant teeth welcome with a smile that could make Hitler think twice. A bangin’ body, which Aubry possesses, is not the only...
We have big houses and broken homes. We have high incomes and low morale. We...– Bryan Waters, the brilliant father of my brilliant roommate, demonstrates again how the peach never falls far from the tree. (via aubsome) That’s my dad. Man, I love him and his wisdom.
aubsome: We lost our spoons. We found this beautiful sound. Get it. That is all.
Feel free to help with my tumblarity; I finished with my oceanography! Now, to Taco Cabana with Aubry and then mo’ studying. YAY!
From now on:
nogoodboyo: no computer when I study math in the library. I mean it No more tumblr, phone, facebook, myspace, or blogspot when I study anything anywhere. Goodbye, tumblr.
I have realized that when in class, I’d rather be tumbling. I have realized that I forget that zippers on my jeans exist. I have realized that I need to finish oceanographying and writing. I have realized that I love my life.
Tonight in Bible study, we were talking about death towards the end. A great family friend died yesterday from cancer. He had been battling it for a while, and it was just time for him to go. It got me thinking about death, which is something I do probably more than most people. Lizzy said that she’d never experienced someone very close to her pass away. I’ve gone through that. I...
Aubria: Shut up!
Rachello: Shut up!
Aubria: Can it!
Rachello: Put a sock in it!
Aubria: Zip your noodle sucker...
Rachello: Shut yo' trap!
Aubria: Shut the front door!!!!
Rachello: YOU'RE LEAKING WORDS FROM YOUR FACE ANUS.
Aubria: Shut your mouth before I stick something in it!
Rachello: Shut your mouth before I straight up shoot it!
Aubria: I hate you!
Rachello: I don't care!
BOTH: About it!
Aubria: Shut up!
Rachello: Shut up!
Both, screaming incessantly: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!
Note: Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You make me angry and you make my fingers bleed. Along with everybody’s ears. I cannot play you any better than a man with no arms. In fact, if he just ran across you, or tripped and feel and make your wood splinter, the sound produced would be more pleasing than the one I would play on your stupid freaking frets and your lame strings. I despise the...
I really do feel infinite. It’s wonderful.
Life, you know?
Tonight was one of the greatest nights in the history of forever. I got to hang out with my favorite college people and do some pretty exciting stuff. I might actually tell you the night in detail. Yeah, I’m feelin’ good. Okay, my day actually started around 6 pm; I slept a lot today. I woke up with the hunger for Panera Bread, so I called Aubry and asked if she’d like...
“I would use my excuse as a History major to compare people to Hitler…In fact, you actually remind me of him, Rachel.” Uh….thanks John. Thank you so much.
Tumblr is to me as: Bert is to Ernie. Batman is to Robin. Donald Trump is to awful hair. Paris Hilton is to tiny dogs and pink. Milk is to cookies. Peanut butter is to jelly. Spongebob is to Patrick. A positive is to a negative. John is to Ron Paul. Tim is to Star Wars. Aubry is to me. and as Jesus is to all of us. I really don’t know if any of this made sense.
A few signs of a Tumblr addict
The last thing you do before going to sleep is tumbling. For three hours. The first thing you do after waking up is tumbling. Showering can wait. Your bladder can take it. You often find yourself typing “tumblr.com” into the address bar out of habit instead of typing the website you were thinking of visiting in the first place. And since you’re now on tumblr instead of the...
I miss →
I am excited that I can change my URL. My new one is: theperksofbeing.tumblr.com Reasoning behind the URL is to come!
My insides jumped for joy when I noticed that my tumblr was no longer just one page. There are two pages, now. Brilliant!
I was looking at the clock at 1:17, and I thought to myself; “Man, I do NOT want to wake up early tomorrow.” My epiphany? My first class is at 3:30. Oh sleep, I’ve missed you. I guess I had another epiphany; tumblr is my new obsession. Geez.
A day in the life of a ridiculously boring...
I woke up at 9:20 after re-setting my alarm three times. I stumbled out of bed and gathered my shower stuff; shampoo, soap, face wash, toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, etc. I traipsed to the bathroom and got undressed. Apologies for making this PG-13. After stripping, I walked into the stall and turned the water on to pretty hot, but not scorching. I think that I washed my hair first. Then did...
Some words for my grandfather:
nogoodboyo: Papa, Things are going quite lovely lately. I have become one with nature and started prancing around the trees on campus in a tutu. John joins me in these excursions. Sometimes, we paint each other’s faces and other body parts and frolic through the pansies. No pun intended. I have developed a wonderful new friend, Rachel. She is the greatest person I’ve had the pleasure of...
Today, my lip piercing came out in Spanish class. It was scary. I got it back in during lunch. It fell out again. I then put it back in with precision. It’s stayed in. I am accomplished.
Check out this blog of things I miss terribly on... →
To Tim and John
Instead of “studying for my Spanish test,” I just spent about 3 hours reading your blogs. Tim-all 25 pages of yours, and John-all 60 pages of yours. I have a hard time knowing and understanding what my first priorities need to be. I hope that you both will appreciate my act of bffffffffflness and curiosity. You are two rad dudes. With that all being said, I am going to sleep now.
Life happens unexpectedly
I bought an old hard back book and tore all of the pages out. Turns out, some of the pages had intense quotes written as a side note on them. I read all of them and was in awe of this one: “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.”